I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
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I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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