No stitches, just platelets and will power
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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