there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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