the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
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I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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