I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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