Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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