YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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