You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize