I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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