we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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