I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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