OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize