all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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