your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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