i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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