Do you still have your period?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We just shotgunned beers for America
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize