that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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