Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize