you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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