so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize