Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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