so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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