He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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