I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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