For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize