so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize