Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I cockslap morals
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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