I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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