so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were trust falling into bushes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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