My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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