I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize