I wish my penis had an off switch
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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