I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize