my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize