you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize