O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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