I seem to have left my pride at pride
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize