so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize