my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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