my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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