Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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