just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I checked into jail on foursquare
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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