Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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(614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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(503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8

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(719): View more from Colorado

I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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(719): I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment. http://tfl.nu/wmih

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(973): View more from New Jersey

would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?

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(973): would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"? http://tfl.nu/lhgh

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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(402): Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat. http://tfl.nu/e56w

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(404): View more from Georgia

my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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(404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.

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(401): Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you. http://tfl.nu/r8h0

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(303): View more from Colorado

One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

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(303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?

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(781): At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot? http://tfl.nu/hn75

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

Replies (14) Good night (680) Bad night (1596)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.

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(423): Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone. http://tfl.nu/b7in

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(330): View more from Ohio

My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

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(330): My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story. http://tfl.nu/g1cp

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(541): View more from Oregon

Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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(541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.

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(985): Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece. http://tfl.nu/t3ih

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.

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(604): Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive. http://tfl.nu/sq1l

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