that's an acceptable place to lick
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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