non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize