I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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