Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize