why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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