Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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