Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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